Deserving vs. Declaring: The Guilt You Feel

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

It’s easier to play the game of deserving. We don’t have to deal with the guilt of getting what we want when we are given something because we ‘deserve’ it. We don’t have to actively look at what we agree to allowing, we just complain about how others get more than they deserve.

The alternative is boundaries, what we will and won’t do, what we will and won’t upset. These are harder because they bring us face to face with others’ disappointment and feelings. They bring us face to face with feeling the guilt of getting what we want. But they are much more empowered, instead of playing the game of deserving we play the game of declaration.

We declare what we’re going to create and then we live into that declaration. We declare what’s workable and not workable for us and then we have to be with our feelings and the feelings of others in the midst of that.

So while it’s easier or rather I should say more ‘comfortable’ to play the game of deserving it rarely creates us or our lives as a center of power and possibility.

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Toku McCree

Toku McCree

Executive coach and writer. I’ve toured with rock bands, trained as a zen monk, and taught preschool. My hope is that my writing makes you think.